I’m not totally sure who “all” is, but oh well. I haven’t written on this blog for just about 9 weeks. All of my meanderings have been confined to my mind or written and left abandoned in the great cloud space of Google Drive. Here’s the thing though, I have a lot to say and I have had a lot to say in these past weeks, I just seemed to lose my voice. Because of that I’m going to write this post to clean myself of all the reasons why I haven’t posted and then I am going to write a post for everything I have wanted to say. So, for part one, a list follows.
- I haven’t written in 9 weeks because…
- On June 1st I started my research position and the work had me so exhausted I would fall asleep at 7 or 8 right after getting home and not wake up till morning.
- I had some great ideas for posts but wanted to think them through and work on them before I posted, which I used as an excuse for not writing ANYTHING.
- I was planning a trip to Bethesda, MD for a bar mitzvah and then NYC to deal with my trip to Rome, Italy and to make sure I got my passport back before my trip to Finland.
- Planning all those trips had me stressed out and having anxiety attacks so I didn’t get much done outside of panicking and then I was travelling (and not sleeping).
- I woke up 2 days in a row in the middle of June to news that 4 hours from my home people had been shot and killed.
- I spent the next few days scrolling through Facebook to make sure my friends were safe.
- I spent the next week or so avoiding most social media in order to keep myself from falling into despair at the horrors.
- I keep hearing and reading such horrifying news and I want to say something, but I get so tired of hearing and reading and knowing everyone’s opinions all these events being shared as fact that I don’t know if I should write anything.
- My depression. It’s hit an all time low. A few months ago I realized something and I’ve been ignoring it as much as possible but that hasn’t really been working, so now I have to deal with the ripple effects. IT SUCKS. And is really bad timing since I’m trying to get ready for a lot but that’s life. So I took today to lie in bed and be lazy and tomorrow I’ll deal with shit again.
Well, now I’ve laid it all out and I intend to be better about keeping this up because who “all” is doesn’t matter. What matters is that this is a really good way for me to think through a lot of things, and a really good way for those care to to learn a little more about me. So I’m gonna try this again and post more often than once every 9 weeks. Later y’all, I’m off to write some more.